


Puzzle

by katychan666



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is mentioned, M/M, Magnus Centric, character study I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29959668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: With Alec, Magnus was finally complete.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30





	Puzzle

Magnus had always described himself like a puzzle - being centuries and centuries old it sure as hell made him feel like that. It wasn’t a bad thing, not really. There were tiny little pieces that were forming him as a whole and that was why he liked that kind of a metaphor to describe himself as. But what did every puzzle need to be completed? All of the pieces, all pieces needed to fit in order for it to be complete and that was something that was how Magnus felt for the longest of times.  _ Incomplete.  _ And for the longest time he didn’t even know how to place it; what was missing? Magnus was searching for that missing piece for centuries.

There were pieces of himself that he liked and there were pieces that he didn’t quite like, but they all formed him who he was. Not all of the memories that he had and things that he had been put through were nice. Oh, some of them were downright cruel, but still they were what made him and even though he’s been through a lot, he wouldn’t change anything. He liked who he was, truly. All of those pieces… the experiences helped him for who he was today.

For centuries he was restless, struggling to accept bits and parts of himself; it wasn’t easy to handle some of them. There were times when he wished that he could forget some of the things, but he couldn’t. He knew that he needed to learn how to accept  _ everything _ about himself. Acceptance and self love were the things that were the most important, but the things that he had done… the things that his father made him do made him resent himself for the longest of times.

Then, there were the pieces of himself that he liked - his friends. They were there always beside him that reminded him that even among all the dark that he had inside of him, there was still brightness. So much brightness and love around him. It only took Magnus a lot time to see all of them. He thought that he should have given up on himself a long time ago, but luckily his friends made him see that he shouldn’t. The warlock was worthy of love and that was what they made him see. 

His friends, the brightest of pieces in his life. Magnus cherished them a lot. Catarina; someone who was there no matter what on every step of his way. Who had seen his darkest times and never gave up on him. Truly supportive and loving. Then there was Ragnor; his old and prickly friend. They would tease each other a lot, but Ragnor was always there for him as well. A true, loving friend he was. And then there was Raphael; Raphael was truly like his son. Still, a friend nonetheless. Raphael cared deeply about him and the people around him, he just had a much harder time showing it. But once he finally opened up to Magnus, he came to learn that he was filled with so much love.

Yes, friendships were important; they made Magnus open his eyes and see the world from another perspective. They gave Magnus the meaning in his life. They made him see that it was worth putting up with a few things; after every cold winter, there came a spring, brighter than ever and Magnus was striving to achieve that blooming, beautiful spring. But that spring didn’t come so easily.

Magnus learned how to accept himself; it took centuries, but he managed to do it. He loved himself properly, yet he still felt like he wasn’t complete. Like there was something missing. Deep down he knew what he was searching for; love, but he had given up on it. True love wasn’t what was for something. That was the only thing that he had completely given up on and he thought that he was content with that. Apparently not very much, but he had given up into his melancholy. 

Magnus didn’t feel sad about it, nor did he feel happy. He was apathetic, stoic… somehow he was dormant inside and he could feel it, but at the same time it was better to stay dormant than getting hurt again. Perhaps someone would call him a coward about that; but it was better to be a coward than heartbroken. He had learned that the hard way… so many, many times. Magnus was fine with feeling incomplete. That was what he thought at least until  _ he _ walked into his life.

Alexander Gideon Lightwood.

A Shadowhunter.

Magnus didn’t think that a mere Shadowhunter would make him feel like that; but he was completely shaken to the core when the two of them first for the very first time. Magnus didn’t want to believe it at first, but that was  _ it. _ The more that he learned about Alec, the more that the two of them spent time together, the more that he started opening up to the hunter, the more he was sure that that was him. His missing piece. Maybe it was stupid, maybe he was beign a little bit too sappy about it, but he felt complete when he was around Alec. 

Magnus knew that he shouldn’t get his hopes up. He knew that the Lightwood boy had his eyes for him, but he didn’t know that anything would come out of it. He didn’t dare to even get his hopes up. Because he knew how it was in the Shadow world, he knew how he was seen in the eyes of Shadowhunters, but he came to realise just how foolish he was for thinking like that. He was centuries old, yet he was so… ignorant. Alec was there to show him that times were changing. Alec was there to show him that it was okay to open his heart one more, final time. For him. 

Because even if Alec was rough around the edges, Magnus came to realise that he was different from the others. Alec was unlike anyone that he had met before. Magnsu was scared to show Alec his ugly pieces, he was afraid that Alec wouldn’t like what he saw once he would get to know him a bit better. But Alec accepted everything; the good, the ugly, everything in between. To Alec everything about Magnus was beautiful and that was something that still to this day, even if they were married, Magnus was still shaken up about it. 

Alec was the missing piece that he was looking for his entire life. He made him feel happy. He made him feel special and loved. He gave him family… he changed the world for him, at least Magnus’ world… was changed forever with Alexander by his side. 

With Alec, Magnus was finally complete. 


End file.
